This is my very first post about my struggling for a work, and it is also my very first post in this site. I’m writing this as more a memoir essay than a guide, so nothing “productive” here, just FYI.
1 Why I want a job?
Actually, I got to admit that sounds a stupid question - I don’t get a job, so I want one.
But let’s dive deeper - why I prefer getting myself a job, rather than getting myself an abroad fully-funded PhD offer or a local grad school recommendation?
Now it sounds a better one now, and let’s jump to the conclusion first - since they are just wasting my life for producing some rubbish, and I’ve got no much time to waste as a mortal.
I think the last half would be fine for you to understand, that, the fact would persists that I am a mortal and my life is limited within a certain scale of time (I guess it’s 30 years to 70 years perhaps), and what you may even be confused about is that how I cloud determine that previous half - one could always argue that going to grad school means diving into the palace of human knowledge and contributing as some terribly intelligent guy to it, and then label me as that type who just wants bucks and pussies, with a constantly-promoting career and well-recognized profile.
However, I’d be regretful to make a minor clarification here, that yes, I do want more money (who doesn’t?), and I do want a girlfriend (who doesn’t? Well, except for those wanting theirs replaced as boys, BTW if you happen to be one of them, I’m a SINGLE boy myself too, saying this half because my favorite VTuber would say it that way, and half because it just feels too fun not to - definitely not because I’m single and I want a girlfriend), but that doesn’t necessarily make me a winner-takes-all-style winner.
And all those judgements are delivered subjectively - and mainly according to my own experiences. And in short, going research means arguing for first-authorship of my own paper, and going grad recommendation means wrestling myself into some jerk GPA competition. Thus, I’ve got no choice but to work.
2 What I’ve done?
Well, I didn’t even begin to think about getting a job quite earlier than this post. You can refer to this Foxbox commit to check its date, and for your convenience, it’s Sept. 28th. So the plan wouldn’t be any earlier than that date, since this is the very first (and only, currently) serious project I’m working on for jobs so far.
And although it’s just about only one month (and one man, me) yet, I still made some progress so far. Say-
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I began grinding LeetCode, although most of time were spent on
easyandmedium, since I’m not that type of ACMer. -
I posted my resume into job apps, and reached out to HRs, and hopefully most of them didn’t respond, avoiding wasting time for both of us.
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I worked on Foxbox, which you should really check out, despite there’s only one random guy behind it maintaining during spare time among interns and school courses (that’s me though).
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I got an intern post at a random startup company, titled “engineering intern”, working remotely - literally with NO (and unaffordable) office, of course - and joining daily stand-ups, writing daily reports, adapting to their mysterious calender, where the previously discussed “four days a week” somehow turns out 7/24 with no contract involved. Technically I’m not even sure whether I should call it “unpaid”, since my salary was generously set at 3000 cny per month - existing as “four days a week”, as long as I work “four days a week”.
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I also took a look at some well-known companies - one of them decided to redirect my resume straight into
/dev/null, without even telling me why; another have their HR sent to me as if my Prometheus, to whom I should probably confess (Dear lord, please forgive me - for I have sinned, by still not having my resume sent. I did so not out of arrogance, but out of that miserable logic; that my disqualifying the internship might somehow disqualify me from being qualified to become qualified.)
3 What I’m gonna do?
And that’s the point - IDK.
I’ve got a mid-term for my computer organization which I DIDN’T EVEN ATTEND, a declined refactor RFC which consumed my time for computer organization, an assignment which requires in daily report replacing my heartfelt work about modernizing their PM-leading chaotic unscalable backend and deployment architecture, and a resume which values even more than Prometheus’s fire to human to me for my Prometheus. How could one even figure what to do at such instant?
Perhaps I’m gonna try surviving this week, got myself a ticket for Zootopia II (last time the Neon Genesis Evangelion Movie Final, gotta admit I did enjoy how Makinami called Shinji) later, go cinema, and imagine I’m a pup back in my mommy’s arms (or the arms of a girlfriend whom I’d probably call “mommy”).