Why I am still struggling to get a job?

This post is written as a memoir, thus it may contain incorrect,inaccurate or subjective info. Please ensure that you are NOT reading this post as reference.

1 Why a job is a want?

I have to admit that, this question sounds quite stupid - you don’t get a job, thus you want one.

But let’s dive deeper - why a job, rather than some further education offer, would be preferred? Or, in other words, “Why a job is a must?”

Now it sounds a better one now, and let’s jump to the conclusion first - since a job is less likely to waste my time.

It is trivial, that, I’m a mortal and my life is limited within a certain scale of time. Thus, the real issue is to deposit time wisely, such that it wouldn’t be wasted. (knspsack, sounds familiar, isn’t it)

Thus, one can always argue that, going to grad school means “diving into and contributing to the palace of human knowledge and as some terribly intelligent guy”, and instantly label me as that type “thirsty for bucks and pussies, with a constantly-promoting career and well-recognized profile”.

TBH, I’d make a minor clarification that, yep, I do want more money (who doesn’t) and I do want a girlfriend (who doesn’t, perhaps those wanting a boyfriend). But this doesn’t necessarily make me a winner-takes-all winner.

Instead, it is exactly the situation “I’m not a winner” that leads me to grind for a job - at least a job would earn me something to feed on. And as the name “YardRat” implies, I, the “Rat”, would retire early and go back to the “Yard”, which also requires more salaries in the youth.

Besides, some so-called “further education” is more a “poorly paid labor” than an “education” - one have to wrestle oneself into some GPA jerking off for better scores, and to work under strict schedules just for advisor’s funds rather than interns for jobs. That’s exactly why I call this “a waste of time”.

Hence, I’ve got no choice but to find a job.

2 What I’ve done?

Well, I didn’t even think about getting a job during my first year at university. You can refer to this Foxbox commit to check its date, and for your convenience, it’s Sept. 28th, 2025. So the plan wouldn’t be any earlier than that date, since this is the very first (and only, currently) serious project I’m working on so far.

And thus, here’s things I’ve been working on:

• I began grinding LeetCode, although most of time were spent on easy and medium, since I’m not that type of ACMer.

• I posted my resume into job apps, and reached out to HRs, and hopefully most of them didn’t respond, avoiding wasting time for both of us.

• I worked on Foxbox, which you should really check out, despite there’s only one random guy behind it maintaining during spare time among interns and school courses (that’s me though).

• I got (and lost) an intern post at a random startup company, titled “engineering intern”, working remotely (literally with NO office), writing daily reports, adapting to their mysterious calender, where “four days a week” somehow turns out 7/24. And fortunately, I got fired just after working for about 37 days, exactly a month and a more week, just to find that my finally paid 3700 cny salary doesn’t really match “four days a week”. Rather, they just thought me to be some random student crud boy who would cheers for a 100 cny per day salary (quite low for both my title and their job description).

• I also took a look at some well-known companies - one of them decided to redirect my resume straight into /dev/null, without even telling me why; another have their HR sent to me as if my Prometheus, to whom I should probably confess (Dear lord, please forgive me - for I have sinned, by still not having my resume sent. I did so not out of arrogance, but out of that miserable logic; that my disqualifying the internship might somehow disqualify me from being qualified to become qualified.)

To sum up, I don’t really achieve something quite profound enough to write on my resume, but I still have to figure out a resume for more job interviews.

3 What I’m gonna do?

And that’s the point - IDK.

I’ve got a mid-term for my computer organization which I DIDN’T EVEN ATTEND, a declined refactor RFC which consumed my time for computer organization, an assignment which requires in daily report replacing my heartfelt work about modernizing their PM-leading chaotic unscalable backend and deployment architecture, and a resume which values even more than Prometheus’s fire to human to me for my Prometheus. How could one even figure what to do at such instant?

Perhaps I’m gonna try surviving this week, got myself a ticket for Zootopia II (last time the Neon Genesis Evangelion Movie Final, gotta admit I did enjoy how Makinami called Shinji) later, go cinema, and imagine I’m a pup back in my mommy’s arms (or the arms of a girlfriend whom I’d probably call “mommy”).